Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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