im having a threesome with these popsicles
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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