She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
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this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
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Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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