That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
