i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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