Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
