you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize