How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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