It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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