Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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