Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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