he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
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you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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