Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
