oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
