So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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