I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Randomize
