Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
