Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
last night I used snow as a chaser
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
