My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
