so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the condom got lost in my hair
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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