When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
