OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
