i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
