I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
