wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
the condom got lost in my hair
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
