Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
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