he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm passing your future prison.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
