I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
