She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
