what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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