I skipped work to stalk him.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
