Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
