if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
