Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
