If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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