I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
