K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
