Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Randomize
