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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  i think my mom watched the whole time

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes

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• (347): View more from New York

  asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.

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• (845): View more from New York

  And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (585): View more from New York

  He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants

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• (831): View more from California

  Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here

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• (425): View more from Washington

  You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy

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