I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha