Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.