so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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