Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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