im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
