Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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