what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
