I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
