Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
