I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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