Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
