Where is the hickey?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
