My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
