I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
