there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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