Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
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I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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