What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
