That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Do vagina's smell?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
