ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
