Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
