yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
