Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
