There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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