So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize