Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
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