Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
