I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
